Here's to a brighter future...

OK so here is a little update on what has been happening in our life the last few months. I know it has been a long time since I last posted an update, so I thought  I would catch you all up. It was February when I last let all of you look thought the window of my life, to see a glimpse of whats happening in the chaos that I call my life.

Almost five moths ago, we brought home our newest edition to our family. Josie Suh was born March 26th and life hasn't been the same since. Trying to get use to a new baby after five years took some adjustment, and patience on everyone's behalf. She is one of the best babies that I have ever seen. She is such a happy baby, when she is not cutting her teeth, which she already has two and i think she is working on a few more.

Now that we baby number three, that makes is a family of five. I know I'm surprised I could figure that out too. That is a big part of the next decision that we made. Amanda and I have decided to sell our house. There were other factors involved in making the decision, but ultimately we decided it was the best move for our family.

My mom and dad have a much bigger house than we do, by almost 400 sq feet. Also a full basement that needs to be finished. They have decided to finish the basement, and turn it into a separate apartment. When that apartment is finished we will be moving into the upstairs part of the house. Now those of you who are freaking out about me moving back in with my parents, that is not happening. Everything is separate, separate kitchen, bathroom, entrances, everything. We will be buying the upstairs apartment/condo on a land contract type of deal so the house will be ours. We wont be renting it, we will be buying it.

When we bought our house in 2005 both of us were working full time, now with only one regular income, it has made it almost impossible to keep up with all of our bills. We are making it, but it feels like we are drowning. There are a few options that we have; sell the house and move,  foreclose and move, or stay and drown. We choose to be proactive in this and sell before foreclosure.We want to live life, not worrying if that pizza that we bought yesterday will cause us to not be able to pay the electric bill.  

This move will ultimately help both family's. We will be saving almost 500 dollars a month on mortgage and bills. This will allow us the freedom we want in life to actually live life and not be financially strapped every month, wondering how we are going to pay bills this month. I cant wait to take that cruise we have wanted to go on,. We can finally take that vacation i have wanted to take the kids on. We will finally be able to start saving for three Wedding that I previously had no idea how they would get paid for.

This move will give us much more room for our girls to grow up and play, not having to worry that someone will come up and snatch them up, or run them over for getting to close to the streets. They have room to be kids. Plus the pool.

This move will also be beneficial for my mom and dad. They have wanted to downsize for a long time and house is just to big for just the two of them. So making a smaller apartment seems

There is a  lot of work to do, to both apartments, lots of finishing work upstairs, and full on construction downstairs. so hopefully within two months we can be in there. To all the naysayers out there, this is our decision to make, I don't care what you would have or already have done.This is the bests choice for MY family. I am very anxious to see what the future holds for my family.

People think Im strange

Every morning on my way into work, I listen to a certain radio station... I have very happy when a few weeks ago this radio station started playing a new song by a band I loved when I was in High school. The song started and I immediately knew something was different.  I had the same feeling a few years ago when I learned that another of my favorite bands changed lead singers. It so happens that both of those bands chose lead singers from probably my favorite band growing up. DC TALK.

I was surprised when I heard Michael Taite took over as lead singer of the Newsboys. I was floored when I heard Kevin Max signed on to lead Audio Adrenaline. With Toby Mac doing well on his own. With all the members back on the radio, I decided to do a DC TALK day on Pandora.

With all this being said it leads me to my point. There are three songs that cut me to the quick, when I listen to them. WHAT AM I DOING? I don't know. I look at my life and see all my mistakes and downfalls and it kills me inside to know that I cant stop this human/sin nature that is at the very core of my being. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it looks like a far away star that I look at in the night sky. Glory just seems so far away.

Kamikaze, my death is gain
I've been marked by my Maker
A peculiar display
The high and lofty, they see me as weak
Cause I won't live and die for the power they seek

People think I'm strange but does that make me a stranger, that my best friend was born in a manger...

What if I stumble, what if I fall? What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
Think about that. I mean really think about it. Chew on those words.

Is my life a display of my so called best friend? Am I content do take a lesser place in life if it means put more important things ahead of worldly power.

Do I really treat Jesus like my best friend. I am a terrible friend in that case. I find myself looking to glory and looking forward to seeing people that I have lost. WHAT AM I THINKING... I will finally get to meet my best friend face to face. Lost loved ones will have to wait their turn.

Then what happens when I do fail. Why does he still love me when I continuously treat him this way. Why did he save me when I continuously slap his hand away when he reaches down to pull me out of the water. Because that is what a best friend does. He sees you falling into the fire and grabs your shirt tale and pulls you to safety. So you can bet that I am going to do my best in this life to show him through me. SO PEOPLE MAY THINK I'M STRANGE AND THAT CAN MAKE ME A STRANGER, BECAUSE MY BEST FRIEND WAS BORN IN A MANGER.

Thanks for joining me on this edition of LIFE IN THE CHEAP SEATS half way to glory...

Please don't hold it agianst me.

Da da da... back by popular demand, after a much needed hiatus I have something on my heart for the last few weeks. Most of you know that my wife, Amanda is seven months pregnant, wow seven months already. Time flies. In less than two months I will be welcoming our final baby into the world. Yes it will be our final child. We are going to make sure of that.

But in preparing for this new child, I have been working some crazy hours at work. Partly because of the baby, partly because of the new responsibilities that I have at work. I realize that life is only the first part of our journey though existence and our children are only small for a short time.

This is the hard part for me. Financially we need the money that God has provided with the extra hours at work, but to what extent is to much. How do I separate work and home. There is the old saying "Leave work at the office" but seriously how does one do that. On the flip side how does one put past the side of leaving his family at home to work all these hours?

I don't want my children to feel like they are growing up without a dad. Also on the other hand I want to be able to provide for my family, so that my wife will be able to work part time and be the mom that my children need.

I cant get the thought out of my head that I am abandoning my child to life the life of a single parent. With working ten to eleven hours a day, six days a week, I come home from a long day of dealing with grumpy technicians, and idiot costumers to two girls excited to see their dad and all I can do is flop on the couch and give them a hug. I cant get up and chase them and play with them the way that they deserve. The last thing I want to do is loose my temper with them or the wife, but it seems like that eventually happens anyway.

I know that my children love me...

I know that my wife loves me...

I know that God loves me...

All for the person that I am.

For the person I am trying to be...

And for the person that I will be,,,

I just hope they realize that everything I do is for them and they wont hold it against me.

Thanks for reading this edition of Life in the Cheap Seats. Until next time, save me a seat.